this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
