my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
