being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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