awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
