Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
