Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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