Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
