let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
