no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
