Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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