i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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