And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Randomize
