i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
