:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
