took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We have started to decorate penises.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I had to cum in my sink.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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