Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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