Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
