so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
