I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
