Sponge bath it is.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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