dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
