Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
