jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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