The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
