i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
