office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
