Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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