It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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