Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
