it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
