id be glad to
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
