Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
