why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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