im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
