Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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