For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
