I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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