I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
