So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
