Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
