There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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