Me too!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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