Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
