I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
