Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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