So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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