the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
