My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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