glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
