I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So much rum. So many feels.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
