So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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