got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
